Top 10 Reasons to Eat Less this Holiday Season

10. Your favorite vegetable is a fried pickle.
9. You just won an Al-Gore look-alike contest.
8. Your idea of eating light is “snappin’ into a Slim Jim!”
7. Applebee’s elected you to their Rib-Hall-of-Fame.
6. Your breakfast of Champions is a bowl of Mayonnaise.
5. Cheeto crumbs are your defining facial feature.
4. Dr. Phil officially kicked you off of his diet.
3. You have a weekly Cheez Whiz cleanse.
2. You’re pretty sure that Sweet ‘N Low can make anything Lo-Cal.
1. Every time you sweat someone swears they smell bacon.
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